Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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