All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
