If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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