he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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