I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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