You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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