Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
