physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
