Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
