his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
