Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
