Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
