she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
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I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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