I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
