Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
