I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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