I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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