I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I party with great urgency now.
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