And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
false alarm. still invincible.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
