Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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