I haven't been this sober since birth.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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