Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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