You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
