i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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