You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
