My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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