drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
