I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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