I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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