do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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