Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
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Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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