suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
