did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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