Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
