return my video game
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
