i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
