had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
