Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
