if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
