wanna go halves on a baby?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
