I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
