Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
