god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
