I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
