am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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