First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize