why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
