Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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