Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
