there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Terrible idea I love it
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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