I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
