Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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