i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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