I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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