She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Randomize
