your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
