There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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