Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize