Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
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