Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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