seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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