It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize