jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
