just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
no you cant smoke seaweed
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
