I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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