Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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