I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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