My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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