Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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