dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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