I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
