let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
send nudes
from the living room?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
